Step 1 - Never trim the lettuce too soon, let it grow.⁣
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Step 2 - Wash the lettuce daily, no matter what people say. ⁣
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Step 3 - Conditioner once a week. Once.⁣
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Step 4 - You can rinse with beer if you like. Pour it over your head like a coed with low self-esteem, then let it soak for a couple minutes. Rinse it out, then gently squeeze it dry with a soft microfiber towel.⁣
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Step 5 - Blow dry, then take a dime size of texturizing paste and rub hands together vigorously, as if you're playing an outdoor game and don't have hand warmers, then run hands through the lettuce applying the dressing evenly.⁣
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The Result - Every missile in class will want to sit behind you to witness this follicle delight. ⁣

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